Don’t Lose Your Marbles - Take Your Bearings!

By Daniel W. Trathen, D. Min. Ph. D.

Several years ago I was sailing through the Cape Cod Canal which is a narrow body of water separating Cape Cod from the rest of Massachusetts. In order to safely sail a large ship through this narrow waterway it is imperative that the captain use radar as well as coordinated visual sightings by the crew. As these findings are compiled, the exact location of the ship is charted to keep it on course. Taking course bearings is as important to sailors as it is to all of us in life. It is the process of gaining proper perspective. If you don’t take your bearings you could "lose your marbles".

There are two basic ways to take bearings in life. One is passive and the other is active. Both ways of coping are learned and can be relearned. Passive individuals who experience conflict seek to avoid the situation that produced it in the first place. Unresolved negative emotions tend to strangle their health and happiness. When these emotions are allowed to overwhelm objective thinking, they can lead to further negative thinking, reduced feelings of confidence, and depression. The person who copes passively often blames themselves for the problem, losing their way and easily running aground. Those who passively cope become problem focused rather than solution focused. Some people actually say that they feel like they are "losing their marbles"! However, when we live not by fear, but through the "long view" of where we want to go and take bearings or stock of our strengths, as well as make healthy choices based on hope, we are coping more actively.

Furthermore, the person who displays an active approach walks through life’s circumstances with a sense of hope and the "long view". They tend to keep things in perspective through clear thinking that seeks to find solutions. They keep their “bow” into the wind of the storm, making sure of their bearings and staying focused on a more positive result. They tend to be people of faith in themselves and their strengths. Such "far-sighted" people focus on the "long-view" and are not overly discouraged by the obstacles in life. They spend less time blaming or feeling sorry for themselves and more time on finding solutions to the obstacles. They challenge themselves to stay at the helm of their lives through keeping a proper perspective. They stay in the middle of the canal by seeing circumstances as learning opportunities and tests of character. They realize that they have a choice, either "to deal with the problems in life or they will deal with us." Coping actively with life’s opportunities can lead to and produce growth in our character. Remember, proper perspective keeps us centered. So, don’t lose your marbles - take your bearings!