The Heart of Traditions

By Daniel W. Trathen, D. Min. Ph. D.

Traditions are important ways to pass down the history, memories, and "heart" of a family. They act as living pictures as the sights, sounds, and smells trigger powerful emotions and memories of past family times. Traditions act like bridges from which the forgotten memories and feelings are connected. What we experience when we see favorite Christmas ornaments or hear "I'll be home for Christmas," or when we taste our favorite holiday foods is the power of traditions.

As a boy, Christmas was a time of festivity in our home. My grandmother would bring over the best pumpkin and lemon meringue pies. In fact for me every pumpkin and lemon pie is compared to hers. During the holidays my great-uncle would arrive after shopping for the best candy, nuts, potatoes, and porterhouse steaks. Then he would take off his suit coat, and with the smell of cigar smoke imbedded in his clothes, would coordinate the preparation of the feast. That was his gift to us.

Our family always went to church on Christmas Eve. Part of this tradition was that my father had me sit next to him because I was "antsy". He would grab my knee to keep me still. I was excited with "visions of sugar plums dancing in my head." Every Christmas Eve, I recall my father's strength displayed through his firm hand. These loved ones are no longer alive to share in the holiday experiences, but the fond memories I have of them live on in my heart through the events of the season.

Traditions need to be either carried on, modified, or even re-created within our families. They are the bridges that link the past with the present for the future. They encapsulate the "feeling" state of the family. I'm fortunate to have married a woman who values traditions. When our children were young they looked forward to doing things certain ways during the holidays and would be quick to remind us of any slight variation. As they got older, they didn't always see the importance or seemingly care as much about them, however, as adults they look forward to the same Christmas traditions that were so important to them as kids. This speaks to the importance of preserving traditions throughout our children's lives. Stability and perseverance are significant values in any family, regardless of the prevailing adolescent opinions. They protect and guard the "heart" of the family.

I'm glad that the holidays create an opportunity for me to reflect and experience memories which are triggered by the rich sights, sounds, and smells of the season. In the classic words of Bing Crosby, "I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams."