Building Character One Day at a Time

By Daniel W. Trathen, D. Min. Ph. D.

Have you ever said, "That person has good character." What do we mean when we say that? For me it has to do with observed personality traits, such as honesty, respect, faith, integrity, love, and self-control to mention a few. These are beliefs and values that set a person apart.

Another way of saying this is that the person is one dedicated to results, not just ideas and words. Their life reflects years of good habits. Someone once said, "Your ideal is what you wish you were. Your reputation is what people say you are, your character is what you are." Such a person has a "core" from which they intentionally interact with others and their world. They cast a shadow. They have clear internal boundaries regarding who they are and how they will think, feel, and interact. Their legacy is a good and consistent reputation stemming from years of formulating good habits one day at a time.

The process of character building doesn't happen overnight. It is embodied in this old adage from Charles Reade, "sow a thought, reap an act; sow an act, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny."

How true this is of us as parents and role models. If we have a difficult time controlling our own desires and emotions, how can we expect our children to control theirs? The best form of parental training in character development is to conform our own character first. As the American educator, Horace Mann once described character-forming habits, "habit is a cable; we weave a thread of it every day, and at last we cannot break it." Benjamin Dejung expressed a similar thought when he said, "the chains of habit are too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken." Bad habits are like comfortable beds; easy to get into, but hard to get out of.

The more one finds themselves in situations where they must willfully decide to be trustworthy, honest, respectful, loving, and exhibit self-control the stronger these character or personality traits become. In our early years such good habits are learned and reinforced through observing and emulating significant people in our lives. An important part in character building is being around people with good character.

A person cannot excel beyond the limitations of their character. One builds character one day at a time laying a foundation for their destiny which when fulfilled leaves their legacy. Henry James was once quoted as saying, "What is character but the determination of incident? What is incident but the illustration of character." It is never too late to form the foundation of our character one day at a time.