Guiding Lessons of Life

All of us have had teachers in life that have been memorable for one reason or another. When I was in 11th grade, we had a study hall teacher whom we called “Mrs. Proverbs” because she would walk down the rows of chairs to ensure we were studying, and if we weren’t, she’d say, “an idle mind is the devil’s workshop,” or “busy hands are happy hands,” or “a penny saved is a penny earned.”  We thought it was weird that she would drop these “ditties” in response to our behavior. We used to make fun of her and her sayings. It’s funny how certain people have an impact on us. I have often spoken of “Mrs. Proverbs” as illustrations to my patients or audiences where I have taught. It would be nice to see her again and thank her for things I remember from High School. My Dad used to repeat certain sayings like, “Don’t count your chickens before they are hatched” and “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”  There must not have been much poultry around when he grew up! C. S. Lewis aptly said, “No clever arrangement of bad eggs will make a good omelet.”  My mother used to say, “laugh, and the whole world laughs with you, cry, and you cry alone.”  She also had specific Midwest sayings she would regularly use, like, “Goodnight, night nurse!”  when upset with someone. I can’t say I have heard that one much over the years. I assume that most professions have a few “wise sayings” of their own, such as these dental word pictures, “be true to your teeth, and they will be true to you,” or “Only floss the teeth you want to keep.”  Saying like these are associated with specific incidences and times in our lives. I’m sure she helped more than one of us in a time of need by remembering wisdom from a respected person.

I recently found a similar list penned by Thomas Jefferson on February 25, 1825, in a letter to his namesake, a friend’s young son. His list was entitled “A Decalogue of Canons for Observation in Practical Life.”  Maybe this list will jog your mind into remembering what your parent, teachers, or grandparents said to you.  

 1. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.

 2. Never trouble another for what you can do yourself.

 3. Never spend your money before you have it.

 4. Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will not be dear to you.

 5. Pride costs us more than hunger, thirst, and cold.

 6. We never repent of having eaten too little.

 7. Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.

 8. How much pain has cost us evils that have never happened.

 9. Take things always by the smooth handle.

 10. When angry, count ten seconds before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.

Essential life lessons don’t seem to change from century to century. We learn and re-learn them as we live life. Some would say that there is nothing new under the sun. An old saying says that a person begins cutting their wisdom teeth the first time they bite off more than they can chew. The famous psychologist William James says, “wisdom is learning what to overlook .” Life lessons take many forms. One form is knowing your strengths and limitations. As the old proverb reminds us: “He who knows not and knows not that he knows not, is a fool - avoid him: he who knows not and knows that he knows not, is a wise man - seek his company .”Another way is by allowing these lessons to sink deep roots into our lives to deepen our character and become guiding lights. The eighteenth-century poet William Cowper used the metaphor of a quiet pool: “A life all turbulence and noise may seem to him that leads it wise and to be praised, but wisdom is a pearl with most success sought in still waters.” William Thomson was one of the greatest physicists of 19th century England. When he was away at college, his father wrote: “You are young: take care you be not led to what is wrong. A false step now, or the acquiring of an improper habit, might ruin you for life. Frequently look back on your conduct and thence learn wisdom for the future”.

 Guiding lessons of life are like teachers. They are wise sayings that speak volumes, keep us on the right path, and call out the best in us.

© Daniel W. Trathen Ph.D.